I posted this on Facebook today. The response was so overwhelming I thought I'd share it here. If you'd like to see the original post, here's the link: http://on.fb.me/16EKtgu

In praise of actors, my people, my kin:

In 15 years of auditioning for national commercials, I've never booked. Not one. I've taken awesome classes, I do strong work, I'm not a novice. I work in other mediums--TV, films, theater. Not commercials. Not yet. Lots of callbacks, "on avails," etc, but never the booking. So this week, I'm on avail for a big one, right? Which basically means it's down to me and a couple other actors for the role. And my agent texts me last night and says, "So sorry hon, you've been released," which means I didn't get the gig. Again. Also? Didn't get the huge guest star for that long-running network show I went in for on the same day. And? The killer role at that fantastic theater I spent most of last week preparing a taped audition for--no word. Yet. So you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to do what actors do. I'm going to keep showing up. Keep doing the work. Keep putting myself on the line. When you see an actor's performance on the screen or in the theater, you're seeing the tip of the iceberg. You aren't seeing the hundreds of other auditions it took to get to that job. Don't misunderstand--this is neither bitch-fest nor complaint. This is what I signed up for. It's what I love to do. The thing that so many people who aren't actors--and even some who are--don't understand is that "no" is standard issue for us. We just don't listen to it.

 

opening david lindsay-abaire's pulitzer prize winner, 'rabbit hole'

I have a list of roles I'm dying to play on stage. I think most theater actresses probably do. Mine's yearssssss old, written in various shades of pen and pencil on a dog-eared piece of notebook paper, tucked away in a drawer.  Once in a while I'll get it out to look it over, and occasionally I'll edit the list. Cross something off that no longer appeals to me or I'm too old for (see ya, Juliet!), add something in that's just come along or that I feel I've grown into. I'll think about the doozies that I'll wait a while for ('Mary' in Long Days' Journey into Night, anyone?) and wonder how many of the titles will eventually cross my path. Only a couple of times have I been lucky enough to cross a part off the list because I got cast in it. A few years ago, I played 'Alma' in The Eccentricities of a Nightingale. When I got that part, pffffft! Off the list. And she was as much fun as I'd imagined.

Don't get me wrong: I have been given the chance to play many terrific roles, but lots of them have been in world premieres, and you can't put those on the "to-play" list unless you figure out how to time travel. (A couple of those roles would be on the list now if I hadn't already played them. 'Lisa' in The Glory of Living. 'Darlene' in Caught.) I don't know how I got lucky enough to snag those parts, but I'm glad I did.

Then just the other day, pffffft! Another one crossed off the list, and I'm so excited for it. I'll be playing 'Becca' in Rabbit Hole at the beautiful La Mirada Theatre starting October 25.  I've been dreaming about this role for a very long time.The production is being directed by Michael Matthews, and I can't wait to get to work with him and the rest of the cast next week. You can click here for more info and tickets.

"cash for gold" claims internet real estate

 Director Robert Enriquez talks actor Navid Negahban and me through a shot.

The short film I wrote last year and star in is about midway through post-production, and this morning we launched the website! You can see more about "Cash for Gold" including production pictures like the one above and current news by visiting the site SO CLICK HERE NOW. We anticipate a finished film in May 2013. "Cash for Gold" co-stars the terrific Navid Negahban and is directed by Robert Enriquez. There's also more info about the film in prior posts on this blog.

Looking forward to bringing it to a festival near you!

in which i briefly consider punching Alan Ball in the knee, or how i came to be on true blood

I love Alan Ball. Love. Alan. Ball. His work. "Six Feet Under"? Watched every episode and was more affected by the series finale than any other single episode of television I can remember. American Beauty?  I mean...c'mon. I've read, watched, listened to every interview with him I could find. I even wrote him a letter once years ago telling him how much I love his work. And then a few months ago, after years of devouring just about every TV show, movie and play written and/or directed by the man (if you haven't seen Towelhead, you should), I found myself three feet from him during a last-minute audition for a guest star on his fangtastic series, "True Blood."

The call from my manager came at around 11:00 am: I had just under four hours to learn the sides, drive to a coaching session with Robin in Woodland Hills, get back to Studio City to shower and change and get myself to The Lot on Formosa Drive in Hollywood. In the busyness of it all, it hadn't occurred to me that Mr. Ball would be in the session. Duh.

Sitting in the waiting area of the tiny cottage where the casting directors for the show work, I could hear the auditions of the women who went in before me, almost all of whom I recognized from some TV show or another. When my turn came, I was ushered into the little office and introduced by the casting director who motioned me to take my seat in a chair opposite her. There was no camera to record the session. There was, however, the man himself, so close I could have reached out and punched him in the knee.

{A confession: I am a person who regularly flashes on the numerous inappropriate behaviors I might perpetrate at any given moment, and how they would play out. How, if I chose to, I could actually do something as odd as hitting Alan Ball hard on the knee, and would that just blow the whole thing? What would the others in the room do, I wonder. Ask me to stop hitting and please read the scene? Stare at me blankly before calling security? Maybe Alan Ball would hit me back. Would he laugh? Yell? Cheer? The astute reader will note that he has been known to give his characters ruminations just such as these to great dramatic/comedic effect. So I guess my point is that Alan Ball and I are ALMOST THE SAME PERSON. Think about it.}

But instead I replied 'hello' to his same, sat, and proceeded to play the scene with the cd, keenly aware that one of my creative heroes was assessing me and my work but oddly calm in the face of it. The scene ended, it was quiet, and then he said it was good--he made mention of a specific beat in the scene that Robin and I had carved out together. Then he asked me if I could do it again with a slight adjustment. Fight harder for what you want until this line, he said.

{One more digression, if you don't mind: earlier in my career I might have said, "That's a great note!" I don't say that anymore, ever. As true as it might be, there is no way to say that in an audition without sounding like a sycophant, and if I learned anything in kindergarten at all it's that nobody likes a sycophant. And besides, he knows it's a great note. He's ALAN BALL for God's sake.}

I said yes, sure I could, happy to spend another few minutes in this tiny collaboration. Getting the job was the furthest thing from my mind at that point. I'm not being disingenuous here. Getting the job was not in my mind at that moment. This was the work--this was what I'd prepared for. I read the scene again, incorporating the note. And then it was done.

We said our mutual thank yous and goodbyes, and I walked on air across Santa Monica Blvd. to my car. At that point, I had done my job. As ever, the rest was out of my hands. I told my manager on the phone that I had no idea if I'd booked it (You never do! They might want someone shorter. Blonder. More famous. Less famous, although in my case that would be tricky.) But I did know I had shared a little piece of me, of what I do, with this man I'd looked up to for so long, and he'd been lovely. I had, finally, worked with Alan Ball. That was enough for one day.

The episode, entitled "Somebody That I Used to Know" airs July 29 and in it, I play Sarah Compton-Harris, daughter of vampire Bill Compton. The episode happens to be the series directing debut of star Stephen Moyer who plays Bill; simultaneously acting with and being directed by Stephen and playing writer Mark Hudis' terrific writing was very very good fun, but that's for another post.

Thank you, Mr. Ball.

get inspired by: bill viola

I just learned I'll be directed by world-renowned contemporary video artist, Bill Viola, on his next project, and I couldn't be more excited. Anyone who knows his work knows that the image above is iconic Viola, from "An Ocean Without A Shore."

Here's a short video by the Tate that shows this 2007 exhibit in motion along with Bill explaining the vision behind it and the cutting edge technology they used to make it. Take a look--it's SO cool.

The as-yet-untitled piece I've been cast in was commissioned by no less than the Church of England, will be a collection of the Tate and will live in permanent installation at St. Paul's Cathedral in London. The piece will span the entire life of Mary, mother of Jesus, from her life as a young woman to old age, through the Annunciation to her Assumption to Heaven. I'll play Mary's cousin, Elizabeth, from the time she herself is pregnant with John the Baptist through Mary's Assumption.

We start shooting next week in a beautiful location in Ojai, California. Per Wikipedia: "Bill Viola's exhibition profile, which includes the National Gallery, London, Guggenheim Berlin, Guggenheim New York, Whitney Museum of American Art, Getty Los Angeles, California, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York marks him as a major contemporary artist."

If you'd like to see more about Bill's work, definitely click here.

Image by Bill Viola from  "An Ocean without a Shore" 2007

uh, yeah, there's a little bit of theater in L.A.

When my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I moved to L.A. from Chicago, I was pretty sure I was kissing legitimate theater goodbye. The rap about Los Angeles theater being all bad showcase projects had jaded me before I even landed at LAX. I'm sure I'd even muttered some of it myself, before I knew any better.

I'm not often this glad to have been 180 degrees off the mark. Los Angeles' theater community is as vibrant and varied, as talented and troubled as of that in any of the major market in the U.S. It's nowhere near perfect (another post on that when I'm less hung-over), but when it's good, it is top-notch. Chicago taught me my first lessons on living a life in the theater, and L.A. continues that schooling.

Congratulations to all of the nominees at last nights' Ovation Awards. Congratulations to all who toil and triumph, persevere and prosper onstage in the land where the screen would be king. Just being a part of this community makes me as proud as winning Ms. Ovation herself.

Congratulations to you wherever you live, so long as you make theater that truly means something to you.